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14 March 2008 @ 08:11 pm
 This is for ginnylsw.  Hope it brings a smile to your face and is the start of a great weekend.

Title: Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Author: Montiese
Category: Humor/Friendship
Characters: Toby, Josh
Pairing: no pairing
Rating: CHILD
Summary: “Do I look like Old McDonald to you?”

“Isn't this great?”
“Not even remotely.”
“Man, you have really got to lighten up.”
“This is me, lightened up.”
“Um, no. The mood is light; you're like a weight around my neck.”
“Maybe I will sink this stupid boat.”
“Don’t even joke about that. I can't swim.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Well I can paddle. What is it really called…I can dog paddle. I'm no Mark Spitz.”
“Josh, you grew up in Connecticut and you can't swim.”
“I'm not making the connection.” He replied.
Toby rolled his eyes, switching sides with his oar. His padding arm hurt and he was starting to remember why this had been a bad idea. Of all the people on the vast planet to be stuck in the middle of a lake with, it would be Josh Lyman. What had he done to deserve this? Ah yes, it was coming back to him. Damn CJ Cregg, damn her and her excellent poker face. He really thought he had her on the last round last night. It did not seem fair that Toby had to lose $120 and a whole afternoon.
“It’s a beautiful day.” Josh mused. “I miss New England; I swear the sun shines brighter here than anywhere else in the world. My mom used to tell us that it was happiest right over our house.” He smirked. “Funny the things you remember.”
“You said us; my mother used to tell us.”
“My sister Joanie and I.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“Joanie died when she was eleven.”
Toby was speechless. First his sister in childhood and then his father during the campaign. Losing two people so close to him in what should have been idyllic times. That was probably why he never stopped moving…his mind needed occupations.
“I think the sun shines brightest over Brooklyn.” The Communications Director replied.
“You think everything is better there.”
“I'm usually right too.”
“Why did you come out here with me today, Toby? Did you lose a bet or something?”
“You could say that.” he sighed. “Its not you, Josh; I just hate nature. If I wanted to be in the jungle again I would hang out on Capitol Hill. There are enough snakes, tigers, and insects there to keep me busy for months.”
“Yeah.” Josh laughed. “Still, it’s beautiful out here. I would not exactly call it a jungle. The sunshine, the water, the sky…”
“The bugs.” Toby slapped the back of his neck.
“Didn’t you put on repellent? Dude, you're gonna get eaten alive out here.”
“Now you tell me, and don’t call me dude.”
“We’re on a farm Toby; someone had to tell you?”
“Yes, because I don’t tend to spend lots of time on farms. Do I look like Old McDonald to you?”
“Reach into my back pocket.” Josh replied. “I have some cream.”
“I'm doing no such thing.”
“My ass doesn't bite Toby.”
“I'm doing no such thing.” He repeated.
“You are really going to itch to death because you don't want to touch my butt?”
“Can we please stop having a conversation with any reference to anyone’s posterior?”
The Deputy Chief of Staff let out an exasperated sigh. He steadied his oar so it would not slip out of its brace before reaching into his pocket for the Off. Toby took it from his outstretched hand. It was not an easy task but he lathered both arms, his hands, and his neck.
“You should think about your head.” Josh said. “It’s a prime target.”
His back was to Toby; he could not see his face. He imagined it though and that set him on a fit of guffaws that he was not sure he could stop. A splash of cold water on his back changed his mind. Josh cringed.
“Ooh, that’s cold. Dammit you suck.”
“Remember that feeling whenever a bald joke comes to mind.”
Still, he put a dime-sized dollop in his palm and rubbed it into his head.
“We should probably get back anyway. Mrs. Bartlet is going to make lunch and I'm starving.”
“That’s one of the best ideas I've heard all day.”
The two men worked together, oars dragging across the calm lake, practically in sync. Toby found he was very good at rowing. He promised himself never to let the opportunity present itself to show off those skills again.
I Feel....: coldcold
I Hear....: "Jet City Woman" Queensryche
Bettina Dawes: MB-Textmothergoddamn on March 15th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
“You should think about your head.” Josh said. “It’s a prime target.”