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22 April 2008 @ 10:43 pm
Today is over and I am going to end it with a story......a new series.  Much love to Gracie, who probably got more text messages than she could stand but kept a smile on her face and didnt kill me.  Well, I dont know if she was smiling, but she indulged me and I thank her for that.  Here we go.........feedback is love.

Title: Cutie Pie and Chris
Author: Montiese
Category: Drama/Romance
Characters: Sam, Leo, OMC, Josh, Toby, Nora, Donna
Pairing: Sam/OMC
Rating: TEEN
Summary: He just didn’t know how to console him. Was consolation even what he came
                  there for?
Author’s Note: This is #1 in the Lexicons and Lovers series.

Sam stood in the outer office of the White House Chief of Staff. Actually, he was pacing. Thunder cracking in the sky outside made him jump. He was so nervous that his skin crawled. It was very early in the morning…Sam did not think the West Wing was ever so quiet. The cleaning crews were there and gone but the bullpens were still empty. 
Looking at his watch, Sam saw it was 6:15. He hoped, prayed, that Margaret would not make it there before her boss. Ginger would be opening the Communications office any minute. Would it be today that everyone decided to come to work early? Dammit, where the hell was Leo?
“Sam, what are you doing?”
The Deputy White House Communications Director jumped again, turning to look at his boss. Leo carried his briefcase and a soaking wet umbrella. He brushed past Sam into his office. For a while, Sam did not move at all. His feet seemed stuck to the plush carpeting. He tried to take deep breaths but his lungs would not fill with air.
Sam clutched his stomach and then his heart…Oh my God maybe he was dying. Would he die before he had to do the hardest thing in his life? Why was he doing this again? Leo probably didn’t give a shit. Was it worth opening a Pandora’s Box? The President’s numbers were on the rise; Ritchie didn’t seem like such fierce competition anymore. Summer was in bloom; Congress was on recess. The Senior Staff was about to hit the road and the White House Press Secretary was on maternity leave. This was definitely not a good time.
“Sam?” Leo called from his office.
“Yes sir?”
“Is there something that you need?”
“Why don’t you come on in.”
Sam came into the office, finally able to breathe. He closed the door before standing in the middle of the floor. Rain streaked down the windows behind Leo’s head…Sam found it better to focus on that. He was sure that looking at Leo’s face would strike him dumb. No, he was already struck dumb.
“Would you like to sit down?”
The Deputy shook his head. He wanted to ask when Margaret would be arriving. The idea of her walking in on his confession was mortifying. She certainly was not a gossip and would probably know soon enough but…why hadn't he just written his boss a letter? Maybe he could have put the information in a self-destructing audio tape. Why was he just thinking of these things?
“You're here kinda early.” Leo sat in his chair.
“You didn’t sleep on Toby’s couch again, did you?”
“No sir.” Sam shook his head. “No.”
“Why are you calling me sir? C’mon Sam, sit down and talk to me. Whatever is said in these four walls is between us.”
He nodded, finally sitting down in one of the leather chairs across from Leo’s desk.
“Leo, I'm gay. Well I'm not exactly…see I…some would say that I'm a bisexual. Unfortunately, my relationships with women since we've been in the White House have made waves. That’s interesting considering how few relationships I've actually had with women. And I cannot believe I am telling you this but I don’t want to hide anymore, least of all with you guys. You're like my family and if I cannot be honest with family then I cannot be honest with myself.”
He stopped talking as quickly as he’d started. Leo thought maybe there was more to say because Sam’s mouth was still open. He was sitting on the edge of the chair, practically perched. Leo thought he looked like he wanted to take flight, far away from a situation that had to be one of the most strenuous and uncomfortable of his life. The Chief of Staff knew it was up to him to make it better. As his wife was fond of telling him, saying something Leo-like right now would be very bad indeed.
“Am I the first person you're telling, Sam?”
“Your mother and father don’t know?”
“Absolutely not.” Sam shook his head. “I don’t know if I can hide it forever but…no, I have not told them.”
“I am very proud of you because I would not have wanted to tell me what you just did. You can calm down a little; I promise not to grow fangs and attack.”
Sam’s stance relaxed but not by much.
“Its like the first time you told someone that you were an alcoholic. Perhaps everyone already knows, speculated, or joked behind your back. As long as you didn’t say it aloud then it wasn’t true. Maybe I'm way off and I probably have no right to compare my inability to come out to your addiction. I'm sorry.”
“It’s fine. I don’t need the personal details of your life. I am just glad that you're comfortable enough to trust me with this.”
Leo tried to smile though he was uncomfortable. It was not because Sam was bisexual; that was something he suspected for years. He just didn’t know how to console him. Was consolation even what he came there for?
“So, what's next?” the younger man asked.
“I don’t know about you but a very large cup of coffee is in my immediate future.”
“Me too. Leo, I need to discuss this with the rest of the Senior Staff. I trust them with my life and we all protect each other. If anything ever comes down the pike, I don’t want anyone to be blindsided.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I am seeing someone and we all know that private things have the possibility of becoming quite public. I think it better that the people who care for me know who I am when they look in my face.”
“CJ, Toby, Nora, Josh…”
“Donna.” Sam added. “Charlie, probably the President but I certainly don’t want to tell him because I'm scared to death. I can't believe I told you.”
“Well you did. I don't know, is there something else we need to discuss?” Leo asked. “Should I know who this person in your life is?”
“That’s a decision for him to make; we haven’t discussed it yet. It’s new and still personal.”
“Alright. I need coffee and a bite to eat before Senior Staff so um…”
“I'm going to handle this sooner rather than later.” Sam stood. “Thank you Leo, for your time, patience, and attention.”
“Of course.”
Sam went to the door, opened it, and left much quicker than he made his way in. Not 10 seconds later Margaret appeared.
“Is everything alright? The door isn’t usually closed at this early hour.”
“Everything is fine. Margaret, I need an extra large cup of black coffee and something to eat.”
“I will have one of the interns get you a cinnamon raisin bagel. Is Sam alright, Leo?”
“Hmm? Yeah, he’s fine. I really need that coffee.”
“Of course.”
“I'm actually on the Metro Rail right now, making my way back from Manhattan. The weather on the I-95 corridor is stormy.”
“Baltimore on down is getting worse.” Sam replied.  “You should be home soon though.”
“Yeah, two hours or so if I account for the weather. We’re almost out of the Philly area. Is there something wrong or is my phone just acting funny?”
“I just want to see you, that’s all.”
“Me too Sam.”
“I miss you.”
“Me too.”
“I want to hold you tight to me and never let you go.”
“The feeling is mutual. Are you still at the White House?” Sean asked.
“Yeah…it’s been a hell of a day.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not by cell phone.”
“You're so cute when you're paranoid.”
“How do you know? You can't see me.”
“Can I see you tonight?” Sean asked.
“Yes.” Sam’s reply came out in a slow exhale.
They had not seen each other in over a week while Sean did work in New York for Senator Langley. Actually, the Senator was doing work for the President and it was appreciated. “Things have changed in the past week Sean; just in the past few hours.”
“That is a curious statement. Are you OK, Sam?”
“Mmm hmm. Come to my place from Union Station; I will make sure I'm home.”
“See you in little while cutie pie.”
Sam laughed, just as he always did when Sean called him that. It started as something of a joke. He made fun of Sam one night because he was taking too long primping in the bathroom. Sam insisted that he never primped a day in his life. Then he said ‘I was a cutie pie from the womb I will have you know. I don’t need hours in front of the mirror’. He said it to make Sean laugh, which it did, but cutie pie was Sam Seaborn’s new nickname.
“I can't wait. Be safe Sean.”
“I will. Bye.”
Sam ended the call just as someone knocked on his office door.
“Come in.”
“Hey.” Josh poked his head in wearing a smile. “We’re going out for drinks; come with us.”
“We’re going out for drinks.” He leaned on Sam’s desk. “What are you up to?”
“Sean is back from New York tonight, so…”
“Oh right on. Hell that beats a night of beer and reelection strategy by a mile. OK.”
For a while, the Deputy Chief of Staff just stood there. He was still leaning on the desk in an attempt to be casual. He and Sam were just getting their friendship back on track. Not that Josh wanted to thank Sean Christensen for anything, but he knew Sam’s new relationship made it possible.
That morning, not long after Sam came out to Leo, he made his way to Toby’s office. Toby didn’t look happy but that was nothing new. He shook himself off, looking at Sam as he hung his blue slicker behind his door.
“Hey Toby.”
“Hi Sam.” He grumbled.
“I need to talk to you, can you spare a few minutes?”
Actually, all he wanted was coffee and Danish. Hopefully Sam would be quick. It surprised Toby when Sam picked up the phone and dialed Josh.
“Josh Lyman’s office.”
“Hey Donna, its Sam. I need you and Josh in Toby’s office ASAP. I would really appreciate if you could grab Nora and Charlie on your way.”
“Sure, we’ll be right there.”
Donna didn’t know what was going on but she quickly gathered everyone Sam asked for. They all made their way to Toby’s office. Nora had a large cup of coffee and her lover practically drooled.
“Can I just have a sip?” he asked her.
She smiled, handing it to him while closing the door like Sam asked.
“I know it’s early, you haven’t had your coffee yet, and you probably want to kill me so I will not keep you very long. I am a bisexual. This may shock the hell out of all of you. It might be something you suspected or knew. It may be something you forget as soon as you walk out the door.”
“Doubtful.” Josh muttered.
Sam smiled when Nora came to put her arms around him. Everyone followed suit, forming a group hug. Toby didn’t do hugs; he put his hand on top of Sam’s thick, dark hair.
“Its just important to me that you guys truly know me. You're like my family…I love you guys. I shouldn’t have to hide who I am anymore.”
“Are you going to come out to the world?” Donna asked, trying to ignore that her boss had gone pale.
“No. It’s not because I'm ashamed, I just don’t want to become a poster boy for anyone’s cause. I'm just Sam Seaborn, the same Sam I was yesterday. I also don’t want to make trouble for the President. It’s 2002 but still quite a sensitive subject.”
“Talk to CJ as soon as you can.” Toby said.
“OK, I need coffee. Thanks for your time people.”
“It’s not your meeting Toby.” Nora replied laughing.
“It’s OK.” Sam said. “Thanks guys.”
“What you did this morning is probably the bravest thing I have ever been a part of.”
Sam smiled, nodding. Josh sat down and took a deep breath.
“This is who I am Josh. I am attracted to men and women, hell mostly men. I'm seeing someone right now who is open, knows who he is, and what he wants from life. He makes me feel…I can hardly put it into words.”
“Sean Christensen is not out.” Josh replied. He couldn’t help it; he was still jealous of the speechwriter. “I think I would have heard about that.”
“Out is a relative term. All the people closest to him, including Senator Langley, know who he is. He is not ashamed, hiding somewhere, or deluding himself about his thoughts and feelings. It’s not about what people who don’t know him, or me for that matter, think. His honesty and thoughtfulness made me want to follow suit. I need to get going.”
Sam stood, gathering his belongings. Tomorrow was Friday but all he cared about was tonight.  Josh watched him as he went about his business.
“I will definitely take a rain check on those drinks.”
“You'll be missed.” Josh stood too. “Hey Sam, you think we could have lunch or something soon? We can discuss stuff.”
“Like what? Don’t think you're going to drag me out under the guise of having fun and then burn my ears off about politics.”
“No, no, I mean real stuff.”
“Well we are going on the road soon and Sean is in and out of the city with the Senator so…”
“I don’t follow.”
“My free time is limited right now but I'm sure we will have time on the road.”
“Yeah. C’mon, I have to get out of here.”
“You are going to be missed tonight.” Josh said again.
“Thanks. Have a drink for me, will you?” Sam gave his best friend’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “Goodnight J.”
Josh smiled. It was the first time he had called him that since the night Josh kissed Amy Gardner for the first time.
Sam wiped his hands on his apron when the door buzzed. Walking out of the kitchen and down the short hallway, he pulled the door open. It was hard not to smile.
“Hello there.”
“Hi.” Sean came in, pulling his suitcase. “What smells so good?”
Sam wrapped his arms around his companion. They shared Eskimo kisses until Sean pulled him closer. He slid his tongue along Sam’s, both men moaning as the kissing intensified. Finally, they pulled away breathless, Sean stroking Sam’s face.
“I was in the mood to cook.   I made some chicken stir-fry over brown rice. Are you hungry?”
“I'm starving. C’mere for just a sec.”
Sean was wearing that smile; Sam had seen it before. As the second month of being a couple passed, the relationship had not been consummated. They shared a bed frequently; held each other, kissed, and touched. Sam was so comfortable with him…more so than he had been with anyone in too long to remember. The Deputy Communications Director could only smile when Sean held his face. They didn’t speak but words were not needed. Sam almost hated to break the silence.
“You should get out of your work clothes; you’ve been in them all day. I will put dinner on the table.”
Sean nodded, kissing Sam’s forehead before they went their separate ways. In the kitchen, he prepared two plates, grabbed two beers from the fridge, and fiddled with the satellite radio until he heard Duran Duran singing Save a Prayer. It would have been good dinner music if it were not a song he once shared with Josh. Quickly turning it off, Sam found Natalie Cole on the love songs station.
“This smells so good Sam.” Sean was back, sitting at the table in grey Adidas sweats and a tee shirt advertising the Hot Hot Hot Strip club in Reno, Nevada.
“Its grilled chicken, some peppers, onions, broccoli, and rice. Nothing too special.”
Sean took a forkful and swooned. Sam laughed.
“Absolutely delicious. So, tell me what happened while I was away.”
“Well it was mostly the norm. Guess what I did this morning?”
“I went to Leo’s office first thing and I came out.”
Sean stopped mid chew. He looked at the man he was growing quite fond of but words suddenly failed him. Words rarely failed him.
“Chew and swallow Chris.”
Chris, a shortened version of his last name, is what friends liked to call him. Sean liked it best when Sam said it. He also did what he was told.
“What happened? Firstly, that’s wonderful.” He reached across the table for Sam’s hand. “OK, what happened?”
“I just decided that people who loved me deserved to know me fully. My sexuality does not define me but I was starting to feel as if I was being deceptive. I am happy and want them to share in my happiness.”
“How did Leo react?”
“I think he was more shocked that I said it aloud than the fact that I'm a bisexual.”
“I'm sure. You told him that you were a bisexual?”
“Yeah, that’s closer to the truth…that is the truth.”
“So you just told Leo?” Sean asked.
“I told Leo, then I gathered the rest of the staff before the meeting and told them.”
“Toby, Nora…”
“Josh, Donna, and Charlie.” Sam added. “CJ is out on maternity leave but I will be seeing her on Sunday to discuss it. The President does not know yet.”
“Wow kiddo…how do you feel?”
Sam smiled again, his blue eyes sparkling. He sipped his beer.
“I feel good, even better since you're home. Oh, and I did tell Leo that I was seeing someone. He asked who but I was certainly not going to put you out there without your consent.”
“If Leo knows I don’t have a problem with it. Look at you, I leave you alone for a few days and you come out of the closet.”
They laughed. Sam leaned across the table to kiss him. He wanted to tell Sean that it was all because of him but that did not feel right. Sure, Sean’s penchant for honesty got Sam to that place. That did not mean he needed to put him on a pedestal. Even if they were just friends, he probably still would have gone to Leo’s office. One thing the Deputy Communications Director had a tendency to do was hero worship.
Once upon a time, he had with Sean Christensen. That was years ago at Princeton…they were not those people anymore. Now, as men, Sam wanted to be close to him. He wanted to laugh with him, talk to him, and love him. It could be a healthy, wonderful experience. They both planned to let time be the judge.
“I've missed you.” Sam said. He turned Sean’s hand in his, tracing the lines on his palm.
“Manhattan was good but I think I would have had more fun if we were there together. I spent way too much time in the condo.”
“We’re back on the road soon. The convention is next month.”
“Believe me, I know. Every Democrat with the tiniest marker up his sleeve is angling for TV time. Did Toby Ziegler really get all four days of network coverage?”
“Yeah. They wanted to give us nomination night only since we are dealing with the incumbent. I couldn’t believe they thought they could get away with that.”
“I watch both conventions every four years.” Sean replied. “I sit glued to my television but I am a nerd.”
“You're an adorable nerd.”
Snickering, Sam started to clear the dishes. His companion leaned back and sipped his beer. He watched Sam doing little domestic things like rinsing dishes and wiping things down. Sean found it impossible not to wear a big smile when he was with Sam, or even thinking about him. Yeah, he had it bad for him. He was just trying to slow the train down before it blew up. They could make it everything it should be if they just walked instead of ran.
“I'm exhausted.” Sean put his empty beer bottle on the table. Sam checked out his stomach and torso as his arms stretched over his head.
“No doubt; it’s been a long week. Are you going to the Hill tomorrow?”
“I'm taking the day tomorrow…sleeping in. In fact, all I want to do right now is get into bed. This weather is so perfect for…”
“Cuddling.” Sam finished.
He turned off the radio, reached for Sean’s hand, and they went back to the bedroom. The rain was still coming down hard. Sometimes the thunder would rumble in the distance; other times it would crash down right on top of them. Sean thought it better to turn off the lamp.
“Take off your clothes, Sam.” He whispered as darkness engulfed them.
“Everything?” the Deputy asked.
“Yes please.”
Neither wanted to appear as eager as they felt. Sam draped his jeans and tee shirt over the chair; his boxer briefs went in the hamper. Sean stripped off his sweats and tee shirt. He left them in a bundle on the floor. In bed together, they immediately embraced. Sean held Sam tight in his arms. He exhaled when the Deputy Communications Director slid one leg between his.
“My God, I have missed your skin Sam…I've missed how it feels on mine.”
“Six nights away is too long. I really enjoying sharing a bed with you and being close.”
“We don’t share a bed every night you're in Washington.” Sam replied.
“I know. When we do its always nice though.”
“It could be nicer.”
Without warning, Sam straddled him. He swept Sean into a passionate kiss. He was both stunned and breathless. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s back, letting himself be carried away and holding on tight for the ride.
“I am going to make love to you tonight.” Sam murmured, trailing kisses across Sean’s throat and collarbone. “Its time.”
“I know.” Sean’s hands moved up to caress Sam’s face. They kissed again.
“Are you sure? Because I have to tell you that while I desire your body, your heart and mind turn me on too. Being with you this past couple of months has been refreshing.”
“I've wanted you for so long Sam. I just…I haven’t been with a soul since Bill and it’s important to me that we get this as right as we can. We’re not that young anymore; flings seem a bit absurd.”
“I promise you it will be right.” Sam thrust against him. He loved the way Sean quivered, arching his back and sighing as their roughest yet most sensitive skin rubbed together. “I want you so much I can hardly breathe.”
“To quote an amazing man I know, ditto.”
I'm In....: the lair
I Feel....: artisticartistic
I Hear....: "Ready to Run" Dixie Chicks