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24 January 2009 @ 11:55 pm
FIC POST (also post #1000!!!!!!!!)  
Finally, I got it done.  This is for teungawaka2003, who has been more than patient and kept making me icons even though I had yet to write her a Toby/Ellie fic.  She is a damn fine friend and I am so happy this is finally done.  This was written with the help of the random song/drabble challenge thingie and here are the rules.

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

Title: The Ballad of Toby and Ellie

Author: Montiese

Category: Romance

Pairing: Toby/Ellie

Rating: TEEN

Summary: From the ashes, we seem to have found each other again.

Author's Note: I basically went through their whole relationship, the way it exists in my mind, and these songs helped me do that.  But the drabbles are not in chronological order.

You and Me: Lifehouse (Toby)

 

I cannot believe it sometimes. Things like this don’t happen to guys my age. They don't happen to me at all. We made magic that night so many years ago and now I get to experience that magic every single day. I thought my life was over. I planned to teach and lead the solitary life of the academic. I was going to see my children sometimes and the few people who loved me even less than that. Then you walked into Starbucks and I heard the bells. The angels sang; the light shined down on your eyes and your smile. My God, I still believe in magic.

 

3 A.M.: Matchbox 20 (Ellie)

 

It’s pouring outside and you are sound asleep. The thought that I exhausted you runs through my mind and I smile. I cannot believe I am lying in your arms listening to you sleep. Actually I am listening to you snore but I don’t care.  It’s not keeping me awake…that’s the tingles still coursing through my body. We escaped the White House, together, and then this happened. What was this? Well I know what it was, but oh my God. You probably have no idea how I feel about you. Though I swear when our bodies became one, even for a few moments, you felt something. This doesn’t happen by accident.

 

We Can't Go Wrong: The Cover Girls (Toby)

 

I really should not be thinking about the Governor’s daughter this way. She is just a kid and I am a happily married man. I am a married man; I don’t know if I have ever been happy. Life keeps moving and I move with it. Driven by passion and idealism, crushed by reality and cruelty and frozen by the fuckin New England winter. Yet she stands on the back porch as if it were the first day of spring. Bundled in a winter coat, hat, scarf, gloves, and coffee mug, I wonder what she is thinking. I wonder what is under the heavy clothes. I wonder if her skin is as fragrant and soft as my mind allows me to believe. I wonder what the fires of hell feel like since that is surely where I am going. She turns, her eyes connecting with mine, and I have no choice. I put my coat back on, my hat and gloves, and I go to her.

 

Listen: Beyonce (Ellie)

 

I am a failure as a woman and a wife. I cannot give him the one thing every man wants. Yes, he loves my child and I surely love his children, but we wanted to have a child together. I want a child with his eyes and my smile, his inquisitive nature and my even temperament. I want him to hold me close and have the life of our child between us. I want to make love and feel the euphoria only caused by sensitivity and the spike in hormone levels. I want to debate names and shop for baby clothes. I want to paint the nursery and make life plans. But I can do none of that because I am a failure.

 

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters: Mandy Moore (Toby)

 

With you, I am the same but different. I still enjoy falling asleep with a book on my chest or watching reruns of The Twilight Zone. That is not the totality of me anymore. This new me enjoys dinner parties with friends, he actually has friends. He likes coffee dates, late mornings, and the occasional night in an overpriced hotel room. He buys flowers and cooks for you. He likes to discuss Voltaire as well as the significance of Jimmy Stewart to American cinema. He wants to hear about stem cell research and the advancements in depression medication. He laughs, a lot, sometimes until his cheeks hurt. He sleeps without clothing and likes it. He, and I, are touched everyday. Literally and figuratively. This new Toby fuses perfectly with the old Toby, most of the time, and you are the glue that holds us together.

 

These Are the Days of Our Lives: Queen (Ellie)

 

You will go before me. I tried not to think about such morbid things, especially when we were hanging out with our children or making love. Still, it’s true. All the statistics point in that direction. Statistics are something I can hold onto. The same way I always hold onto you. You are my hero. I love your life force; you never ever give up. I love your intensity, your passion, and even your fervor. Hell, all of that could mean the same thing. I love the way you look when you are asleep…the only time your mind is not moving at 100 miles an hour. It seems ridiculous that you will go before me. All these years we have been together and you have only been sick twice. This second time, I know you are not going to get better. I cannot hold on anymore…I have to let go.

 

Someday, Someway: Marshall Crenshaw (Toby)

 

I am quite surprised to see you at my door. It is your wedding day; every newspaper says so. Suspicious Secret Service Agents trample through my condo before you are allowed to enter. We don’t speak for a while. It has been a while since we have seen each other. You are a blonde now and even if I don’t like it, I surely have no right to say. You are as shy and beautiful as ever, still letting your shirts swallow you. I open my arms without thought and you fall into them. You don’t have much time but we will talk as we always have…with body language.

 

I Want Love: Elton John (Toby)

 

Is this happening too fast? I think things are moving too quickly but strangely, the urge to slow down has not come over me. We slept together on our first date. Well, it’s not as if we are kids. You are a widow and I am disgraced former Washington insider. We have been around the block a few times, courtesy of the Bartlet train. You hopped off and found your own way while I derailed the whole damn thing trying to find mine. From the ashes, we seem to have found each other again. I could just go with the flow, certainly not my default position, but I could try. An old dog can learn a new trick or two. The reward of you makes it worth the extra effort.

 

Easy: The Commodores (Ellie)

 

You don’t even know how amazing you are. I can lose myself watching you do your thing. I watch you enthrall people; hypnotize them with your wit and genius. You always need a few drinks to warm you up but I am willing to supply them to get my show. It’s a turn on, your intellect. Watching you debate gets me hot from head to toe and I am sure you have no idea why I am tearing your clothes off when we get home but you are not a man to argue with his luck. You always say you are lucky. No, it’s me who is lucky because I have you. You fill and fulfill me for the first time in my life. I don't want you to change a thing.

 

The Whole of the Moon: Mandy Moore (Toby)

 

I like that I don’t know a damn thing about you. It means every time I see you there will be something new to discover and enjoy. I wish I could see you more but I won't let myself think about such a thing. There are plenty of other things to occupy my mind. I have your email address and your cell phone number but the idea of the enigma becoming something I know inside and out leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I know your body but am sure there is more to explore. Once could never be enough. I want to swim through the depths of your mind. I want to find out what makes you happy, sad, angry, or gives you that delicious joy in the pit of your stomach. I want to tangle my fingers through the curls on your head and whisper your name as you fall asleep at night. I want forever, one moment at a time.

                                                                                               

 
 
I'm In....: the lair
I Feel....: happyhappy
I Hear....: "Surrounded" Chantal Kreviazuk
 
 
 
Claire: TWW - Toby/Elliejustdreaming88 on January 25th, 2009 05:10 am (UTC)
I love you! This is fantastic though you broke my heart a little or quite a lot really This second time, I know you are not going to get better. I cannot hold on anymore…I have to let go. :(

One typo: They dot happen to me at all I assume that should be don't happen to me at all
SSA McGeek: Toby Ziegler....social drinkermcgarrygirl78 on January 25th, 2009 05:13 am (UTC)
I already fixed the typo, I cringed when I saw it.

I am so glad you like it, its especially for you as you really are a good pal. I just followed the songs and Freddie Mercury gets me every time....I didnt even know what I was writing about until almost the end of that drabble. It broke my heart too.